☻Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!
☻Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.
☻BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
☻Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!
☻Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.
☻Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .
☻Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
☻Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !
☻E man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.
☻Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.
☻For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"
☻God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!
☻God created the universe, the earth, nature, the eggs, man and saw that it was good and beautiful. God also created woman and thought : ‘I hope she will make herself up’!
☻HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!
☻Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
☻Hello, this is GOD. I make few bad creations but you are the worst monster I ever realised. My apologies on behalf of the whole world..
☻How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?
☻I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!
☻I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T
☻I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.
☻I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...
☻I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!
☻I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...
☻If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
☻If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.
☻If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.
☻Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!
☻In case of fire read this message.....................................I SAID IN CASE OF FIRE YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!
☻It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!
☻Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???
☻Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number!
☻My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."
☻My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...
☻Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?
☻One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.
☻Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.
☻Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed
☻roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????
☻roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...
☻Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................
☻Smoking is allowed in this area, blowing not!
☻The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??
☻The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !
☻They dropped your name, can you pick it up ?
☻This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
☻This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.
☻This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."
☻This sms can only be read by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!
☻Those beautiful eyes, that incredible body, such a brain, a sexy mouth, nice smile .... but that is enough about me, tell me how you are?
☻We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."
☻We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!
☻What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!
☻When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!
☻You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.
☻You are never too blond to learn !!!
☻You got STYLE... You got SEX-APPEAL... You got the BRAINS... and you sure as hell got the BODY....WAIT!!!!!...SORRY....wrong number
☻You have the ones that think and you have the ones that do things. The worst kind are those who think that they are doing things.
☻You should know what it takes to look this cheap!
☻You used to be so ugly that your mother had to tie a steak around your neck, otherwise even the dog would not play with you
☻You will have to cut back on your sex live. What part will you leave out, talking about it or thinking about it?
☻You with your beautiful eyes, you with your nice hair, you with your fantastic body ... o, sorry, wrong number
☻You’d better not be a dayfly and not having your day.
☻Your provider adjusted his rates. The rate is determined by the length of your genitalia, the shorter they are, the less you pay. You can telephone for free
